Marital Issues

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Marital Issues

What makes a relationship work? Equanimity is one important component of a solid relationship. Equanimity is the ability for a person to remain calm and balanced, even in a stressful situation. Equanimity allows you to see that it isn’t necessary to change someone in a relationship to think the same way you do; instead, you understand that you can only control how you think about things, and you understand that differences in opinions and beliefs can be accepted and even embraced in a relationship.

Fortunately, equanimity isn’t something a person either has or doesn’t. Equanimity can be developed so that relationships can be maintained in a calm, open-minded way that will allow them to thrive in a sense of empathy. Rather than confronting differences of opinion and beliefs as hurdles that must be overcome, equanimity allows those differences to be accepted so that the relationship can survive and even thrive. Differences don’t have to be something to confront or change, but can instead be something you learn to accept. It isn’t necessary to change your opinion so that it aligns with your loved one’s, but for a relationship to work, it is necessary to accept the opinion as just something that you don’t agree with.

Repetitive thoughts, whether they are negative thoughts about how someone’s opinion is different or positive thoughts recognizing that other people are allowed to have their own thoughts, can affect your own equanimity and the ability to develop it. Dwelling on differences creates negative thoughts that can sabotage any relationship. Viewing differences in a positive light and seeing that they should be accepted by using empathy and equanimity can make a relationship more solid.

Learning to not be upset but to maintain balance and calm can help strengthen any relationship. Equanimity allows people to experience more things by not them believe they have to change the people with whom they are in relationships. Equanimity allows people to love their friends and family as they are rather than wasting energy in hopes of changing them.

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